How Gum Taught Me About Justice

Little kids are funny.  Most of the time it's hard, as an adult listening to their breakdowns, to figure out why they get so upset about the things that bother them.  It seems like such the smallest things can throw them into complete meltdowns.  Things that don't matter, really, or at least not to adults.

That's because as adults we've already been through the trauma that those little things can cause us.  We've forgotten what it's like to be introduced for the very first time to some terrible truth.  At least we've mostly forgotten.

I remember one of those childhood breakdowns very well.  It was the very first time that I think I really understood the problem of injustice.  It was gum that taught me about justice.

I don't remember how old I was, but I know that I was very young.  Grandma was taking me to Granny's house to spend the day.  Everyone loved going to Granny's house.  It was a place of good food, all the sugary drinks you wanted, and a place where you heard beautiful words like "Yes, you can pick all the raisins out of the Raisin Bran box."  

But for some reason that day I didn't want to go.  I wanted to stay with Grandma.  

When we got to Granny's house, Grandma tried to persuade me to go inside.  She told me I'd have fun.  I still didn't want to go.  She told me she'd be back soon.  I wanted to go with her.  Then she pulled out her final weapon in her arsenal.  She dug through her purse and offered me a piece of gum if I'd go inside.  

My eyes lit up.  This piece of sticky goodness could be all mine, and all I had to do was go inside.  

I'm sure you understand, of course, that I could not pass up the priceless offer of gum.  To do so would have been completely unprecedented. I put the gum in my mouth and I went inside.

Granny told me that I could watch television, and I could watch whatever I wanted...at least until Older Cousin took notice and wanted to watch something else.

So there I was, sitting in the living room floor, watching television, delirious in a cloud of gum happiness, when Older Cousin came in the room. Older Cousin noted that I had gum, and she didn't.  Grandma hadn't sent her any gum, just me.  

She wanted my gum and I wasn't about to give it to her.  So, she decided what many children decide in those moments...if she couldn't have gum, no one could.  What she did next was almost unspeakable.

She tickled me.  

For me tickling is the worst kind of torture ever.  You're laughing, but you don't want to laugh.  I hate being tickled.  

Older Cousin tickled me until I swallowed my gum.  

My precious gum was gone!  I had been tickled and forced to lose my precious gum which was the only reason I had come to this place of torture.  I, of course, began howling and Granny came to see what was happening.  

Older Cousin told her version of the story while I cried.  I remember hearing it something like this: "She {lies...lies...lies} gum and I {lies...lies...lies} no gum and {lies...lies...lies}."  They were all lies, and even if they weren't lies, I had done nothing wrong.  I had been given the gum.  I was its rightful owner and had not been told I had to share it.  I was the victim and I had suffered the injustice of having my gum taken from me so soon after I received it.

To try and settle the case, my Granny dug through the drawer in her house where all things went when they had nowhere else to go.  She found a piece of gum.  There was just one piece.

Older Cousin said the gum should be hers because she had not had any gum.

I said the gum should be mine because I wouldn't be gum-less if it hadn't been for the obscene cruelty of Older Cousin.  

Then my dear, sweet, loving Granny did the unspeakable.  She turned into a dictator, a tyrant really, and not a very nice one.  She gave the gum to Older Cousin.  She told her she didn't have to share.  At the very least I should have been given  half.  There was no justice here...no justice at all.

Of course, watching my cousin pop the gum into her undeserving mouth was more than I could take and I began to wail.  Granny told me to go outside until I could control myself.  So I did.

I sat on the back step...thinking about the injustice that had been done to me and how Older Cousin was inside now enjoying her gum after having robbed me of mine.  The more I thought about it, the worse I cried.  

The neighbor, a nice old  preacher man, came over and asked me why I was crying.  I could tell him.  He was a preacher and interested in things like justice.  So I pulled myself together and told him my terrible story about gum and injustice.

He listened carefully, and then smiled.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out almost a full roll of Lifesavers.  He said he didn't have any gum, but if I would quit crying he would give me what was left of that roll of Lifesavers.  Furthermore, he said he would tell Granny that I didn't have to give a single one to Older Cousin and that I could eat them all.  He was a preacher, and Granny had to listen to him.

Now there was a man who understood justice...and apparently the breakdowns of small children.  

And THAT is how gum taught me about justice.